The Question is When?

This is my own personal writing as I was just pondering everything I have gone through in the past 17 years with my eating disorder.

The question is when?
When are you going to stop taking orders from the mirror?
When are you going to stop letting a number on the scale make or break your day?
When are going to take your head out of the toilet?
When are you going to stop the pills?
When are you going to stop lying to everybody?
When are you to stop stuffing all you pain inside?
When are you going to stop hating yourself?
When are you going to stop running from everything and everybody?
When are you going to stop starving, binging, and purging?
When are you going to stop wasting your life away?
When will you finally let go?
When will you stop listening to the voice in your head-the eating disorder?
When will you stop trying to be in control of everything?
When will you stop over-exercising?
When will you begin to trust others?
When will you learn to reach out for help?
When are you going to start trusting your treatment team?
When are you going to believing in yourself?
When will you let go of shame and guilt?
When are you going to actually eat and follow your meal plan?
When are you going to respect your body?

Some of these may apply to you so, look inside yourself and ask yourself why use these unhealthy behaviors to cope? What is the underlying issue that you need to cope in this way?  You may not know right away or perhaps you do know.  I urge to talk to a professional if you are struggling and seek help because these behaviors come with consequences and you are more than your eating disorder will ever offer you.

"If you give you eating disorder an inch, it will take a mile"
~My Dietitian