Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Recovery. You may have feared me for a long time but hopefully we can become great partners. In the coming time I will invest a lot in you and I expect the same from you because I believe you can do it!
In the past you have heard of all your teachers and parents talk about you. You are “so mature”, “intelligent”, 14 going on 45, and possess “so much potential”. You don’t see this but I tell you it is true. You have amazing talents. You are not perfect but that’s okay; no one is! All you have to do is try. Your time is not wasted on thinking and talking with friends and drawing. Such acts shall be encouraged.
Your friends try to understand you. They may not, but they try only because they love you. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind and you asked them, “Do I look…fat?” and they answered “Oh no, of course not”, Why would they lie? I tell the truth too. Even though your parents yell and scream you know that they love you and care for you. None of this is an obligation. They wouldn’t care if they didn’t love you! I shall tell you a secret now; deep down inside themselves they are proud of you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has done nothing but show them how much of a beautiful young lady she has grown into.
I would never change all that. I will just make it even better!
I expect a lot from you. You are going to have to work hard. I won’t lie. But when those thoughts creep up into your head and Anorexia tries to tell you that you’re fat and ugly I will be here to fall back on to. I will show you that this is not true and you have so much to live for. You won’t have to count calories or restrict food, but rather embrace food and health and happiness you will receive. For a while you will be moving along with much motivation, but when the first hurdle comes along…don’t give up! You will see how much clearer your mind thinks and you won’t have to worry about your hair falling out. I will never tell you that you’re not good enough. All that matters is when you fall down you DO get back up.
I will expect you to follow a meal plan and decrease your exercise, but is this too much to ask for in exchange for your happiness? I will be here to encourage you. I will help you to release your anger in a positive way and to know it is okay and healthy to feel those feelings of fear and sadness. Don’t be afraid. This is the beginning to life. I am with you always. I am there when you wake up in the morning and are afraid of breakfast. I will help you through it. The numbers on the scale don’t define who you are. And the obsessive thoughts, pray for them to be lower than yesterday, last night, etc. You look into the mirror with dismay but you will soon see the beauty that stares back at you. You prod and poke at your body, never being satisfied. So I will show you the satisfaction of going through a day without fearing that you will pass out, and the freedom to be able to work and play. I am there when you figure this out because I want to see you happy and healthy.
I fill your mind with positive thoughts and things that are happy to think about. I don’t want to rule you; I want to be your friend and your way to a healthy life. The hunger pains show you that you are alive and that your body does work. It needs to be nourished, so give it what it needs for once!
Don’t be fake. When you feel sad it is okay to cry. Talk to other people and find support. We cannot do this alone. When mealtimes come around don’t be afraid! I will help you. It’s okay; I promise that food does not make you fat. If you eat all the control your eating disorder has will be broken. I want this for you, but you have to want it too. Those perfect skinned, white teethed, waifish models you see everywhere are not happy. Don’t long to be them. You would never live a life to the fullest. When you look in the mirror Anorexia distorts the image. It shows you obesity and hideousness, but I will help you to see the truth. When there is a starving child in the mirror I will change to a beautiful, healthy, strong, nourished woman. Please eat again. Our relationship will be beautiful, and your enemy Anorexia will come crashing down and have no control over you.
Sometimes you will have bad days and want to purge or starve yourself, but think about where that will get you? Look back and see how sick you really were and how you were not happy. Hold onto faith.
When you want to turn back to Anorexia out of fear, ask me for advice because I will help you see reality. I don’t want you to hate yourself or be in pain. You have to want this also. Our relationship won’t be successful if you don’t want to help yourself.
When Anorexia wants you to hurt yourself, bang your head into the wall until you receive a throbbing headache, cut to see your blood, feel you deserve whatever pain it gives you, I tell you don’t listen! Why are you going to hurt yourself because other people hurt you? Talk about your hurt instead of stuffing it and you will heal. You are depressed, obsessed in pain, hurting, reaching out, and I am here. I care! You are deserving of recovery!
Anorexia is unfair! It causes you more stress. Thoughts of anger, sadness, desperation, and loneliness never go away. Calorie counting and obsessions only cover them but that can’t last for forever. I help take away these feelings for good by healing and facing them head on.
Anorexia has a weak spot. We must tell everyone! If you decide to fight back, to reach out to someone and tell them about how it makes you live; all hell will break lose. It has made you a starving hurt child. Fight back! When others comment, listen. Cling to everyone that tries to help you let go of your eating disorder. It is your worst asset, and it intends to keep it that way, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I am here, I do truly care.
Sincerely,
Recovery
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