How To Find Self-Acceptance

How To Find Self  Acceptance

1. Identify and challenge your negative thoughts.

The first step towards finding self-acceptance is identifying the judgements you are attaching to your authentic self. Do you think you’re too much? Too emotional? Too quirky? Too shy? Too silly? Whatever the thoughts and beliefs are, identifying them is key because it allows you to challenge them.

Allowing your negative thoughts to go unchallenged gives them more power. Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it. Each time you argue with the thoughts, you are entertaining the notion that maybe, just maybe, it’s wrong. Each time you fight back, you’re taking away their power. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them.

2.  Explore you reasons for holding back.

What your fears are about allowing the world to see you as you are? Are you scared of being judged? Abandoned? Criticized? Laughed at? When you can identify the beliefs, test out your anticipated outcome and see whether or not your fears become a reality.

Chances are, you will find that no one sees you in the same negative light you see yourself in. Just because a few people have responded negatively to your authentic self doesn’t mean everyone will. Just because you don’t approve of yourself doesn’t mean other people won’t either.

The truth is that not everyone is going to like and accept who we are. Not because we’re inadequate—but because everyone has different personalities, interests, beliefs, values, needs, and desires. Therefore, gaining everyone’s approval is an exhausting, unrealistic, and impossible goal. Know that when you compromise who you are for the sake of being accepted, you end up attracted people who value you for someone you aren’t.

Trust that when you allow your authentic self to shine that the right people will find there way into your life. These are the people who love and accept you without conditions—these are the people who matter. Let go of the rest. They don’t discount who you are.

3. Recognize your inherent worth.

Self-acceptance transpires when you’re able to recognize that self-worth isn’t something you earn—it’s something you’re born with. You have intrinsic value. You exist and therefore you matter. Your worth as a human being isn’t something up for negotiation—it just is.

2. Stop making comparisons.

Comparing yourself to other people doesn’t make you feel any better about who you are—it makes you feel worse and keeps you feeling inadequate. Whether or not you “measure up” to someone else is not an accurate basis of your self-worth. Instead of fixating on all the things you’re lacking, start focusing on all the things that make you wonderful and beautiful and special.

There will always be someone who weighs more or less than you. There will always be someone richer or poorer than you. Someone more well-liked or less well-liked than you. Someone more conventionally beautiful or less traditionally attractive than you. But there will never be another you. Your differentness isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s something to celebrate.

3. Stop using your appearance to define your worth.

The way you look is such a small part of who you are. How much you weigh, what you look like, the shape of your body, your skin color, ethnicity, and clothing size NOT have the power to discount your worth as a human being.

You are defined by who you are inside—by your character, your goals, your morals, your dreams, your heart, the love you have to give, your values, your attitude, and the way you treat others.

You are SO much more than how you look and what you weigh. You’re a spirit and a soul. You’re force of nature and a source of power. You’re energy and light and love. You’re full of insight, experience, potential, and possibility. You have so much more to offer this world than your appearance.

4. Redefine the qualities you feel ashamed of.

Recognize that no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has unpleasant qualities, limitations, obnoxious habits, and annoying quirks. Those less favorable traits however aren’t all of who we are. They don’t discount our positive aspects, and they most certainly don’t make us undeserving of love.

Instead of using these qualities as proof of your inadequacy, choose to redefine them in a more positive light.

Being sensitive doesn’t have to be a sign of weakness. It can be a gateway to connection. Being sensitive helps people to treat others with compassion and kindness, form deep friendships, and sympathyze with the struggles of others. Sensitivity gives you a caring soul.

Being shy doesn’t have to be a social inadequacy. It makes people good listeners and helps them to be more observant of their surroundings. When you take the time to listen and watch what’s going on around you, you learn a lot.

Being childish doesn’t have to translate to immaturity. I can mean someone isn’t afraid to be silly and laugh themselves. Getting in touch with your inner child allows people to connect with kids and gives them a youthful spirit.

Being needy doesn’t mean someone is a burden. Everyone has needs, and everyone deserves to get those needs met. Someone who is needy is simply good at asking for what they want and taking care of themselves.

Whatever the qualities are, know that they can be redefined and used as a strength.

5. Forgive yourself for making mistakes.

A lot of us think that being “good” or “worthy” means being perfect. The reality is that no one is perfect. Everyone messes up. Everyone struggles and has a difficult time with life. Making mistakes doesn’t make you inadequate or incapable—it makes you human.

Instead of beating yourself up for being imperfect, embrace your humanness and forgive yourself. Know that you’re doing the best you can and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough.

You can’t go back in time and erase your mistakes, but you can always learn from them. You can always choose to use them as an opportunity for growth.

***Know that there is nothing wrong with who you are.

You are wonderful and special and one of a kind.

You are seen and heard.

You are important and valued and appreciated.

And most importantly, you are loved.