Perfectionism

I thought I would write on perfectionsim since it comes along with eating disorders.  I am perfectly imperfect and that's okay because being perfect means I am not living my life, but merely just existing.

What We Do Know About Perfectionsim is.
1. It's a drive that's inside us to be the very best at everything
2. It goes hand and hand with not only eating disorders, but OCD as well
3. Judging yourself based on your performance
4. Approval of others
5. It's black and white thinking and no grey

I'm a huge fan of Brene's Brown and have read all of her books, but this one particular book called "The Gifts of Imperfectionism" really goes to the core on what perfectionism is all about

" Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen and taking flight." - Brené Brown

In Brene Brown's book she talks about whole-hearted living which is

• Letting go of what people think about you
• Letting go of perfectionism
• Letting go of numbing and powerlessness
• Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark
• Letting go for the need of certanity
• Letting go of comparisson
• Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
• Letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle
• Letting go of self-doubt and supposed to
• Letting go of being cool and always in control

Perfectionism lurkes in music, dance, art, and other fine arts where everything must be perfect all the time.  There's a drive in you that sets very high standards for yourself that are unrealistic, but you are unable to this.

I have played the violin since I was 4 years old, combined with a sensative personality, and preposition for an eating disorder...the perfectionist piece was already planted I just didn't realize it. For me, it was all about people pleasing others.  It didn't matter what I thought because pleasing others and making them happy is what counted the most.  Now, today as I write this I realize how unhealthy and unrealistic that thinking was.  I have learned many tools that have enabled me to think differerntly. It was about wanting the love I missed out on and needing that approval and acceptance growing up. When I was in that perfect mindset everything around me was invisible because I was too emeshed with everything being perfect.  I remember many times in school of re-writting my notes because I didn't think my handwriting was perfect enough when really all it did was cause me extra unneeeded work.

Today, I know that being perfect does not define me, it does not put any value on who I am, and it does not determine my self-worth. Just like seperating your eating disorder voice, you need to seperate the perfectionism voice from you...you need to take action and say, I'm not going to allow you to interfere with me today! You have a choice...you can let perfectionsim take over your life or you can choose to talk back to perfectionism into living your life.  It is very freeing knowing that you don't have to be the very best a something and you can still apperciate what you have achieved.  I know that if I clean the house it's okay the miss a spot.

So, Are you a perfectionist?

• Does everything have to be the very absolute best
• Do you reorganize things until they are just right
• Do you suffer from insomnia due to perfectionism

There are just some question to ask yourself.

To listen to an encouraging podcast with Thom Rutledge on Perfectionism Click the link below
http://www.mentorconnect-ed.org/mcteleconferencepodcasts/