Sunday, November 22, 2015

Learning To Love Thanksgiving

Morgan Walker

DATE: November 20, 2015

Who doesn’t love Thanksgiving? For most, it’s a day off from work and school to join in celebration with family and friends and give thanks around the table lavished with a homemade feast. But, for those struggling with, or in recovery from an eating disorder this day can extremely challenging.

No matter where you are in your recovery or in your disorder, it is important to go into the holiday with a spirit of self-care and mindfulness. As we enter this day and the season to follow, consider some of the following tips to ease your way through the holidays.

  • Go in with a plan.

Know the situation that you will be going into, and use that information to establish your plan. Who will be there? Where are you going? What will be served, and how will it be served? Who or what is most likely to throw you off track? How can you make yourself more comfortable? Talk with your therapist and dietitian to help you prepare for this stressful day in advance. Discuss a meal plan for the day. Role-play with your providers in anticipation of any uncomfortable situations or comments made by friends and family members, who may mean well, but not completely understand the impact some comments may have on you.

  • Reach out to your support system.

You may find it helpful to share your anxieties with a family member and/or friend as the day approaches. If they know about the eating disorder, you can explain how this will be challenging day for you and ask for them to be there for you to offer extra support. Knowing that someone is available, either in person or by phone, can help you stick to your plan and remain calm.

  • Practice self-care.

Anticipating the situation can help with self-care. Decide how you will be able to take a brief escape for a break and take care of yourself when things become overwhelming. Breathe deeply. We really do tend to shorten our breaths when we are stressed and that can increase anxiety. Excuse yourself from the table to step outside and get some fresh, autumn air. Knowing what works best for you in anxiety-ridden situations will help to manage your stress in the most effective manner.

  • Keep to a regular predictable eating pattern.

Eating according to your plan throughout the day will keep you on track for a successful Thanksgiving meal. If you know that Thanksgiving dinner could turn into a binge, remember that skipping meals before the main meal is not a successful strategy. Skipping meals and snacks only focuses your mind on what your body is in need of—namely food, thereby setting you up for a binge episode.

  • Remember your values.

Thanksgiving is really not about the food. Thanksgiving is about expressing gratitude. It is one of the few holidays celebrated by all Americans. Rooted in history rather than religion, all come to the table to celebrate. During this day, take time to reflect on who and what you are thankful for. Honor your values, the hope and freedom in recovery included.

This Thanksgiving can be better than the last, just like today can be better than yesterday, and tomorrow can be better than today. Seek out warmth, support, and love during this holiday season. Be gentle with yourself at all times.


Adapted from UNC Center for Eating Disorders

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Sugar Myths



Sugars or Dietary sugars have been under scrutiny for years.  Sugars have been blamed for causing everything from cavaties to obesity and a lot of conditions in between.  Here are the facts about sugars.

Fact 1 Not All Sugars Are the Same
People often think that the word “sugar” means table sugar. It does, but it also refers to many other types of sugars, too, including, fructose, galactose, glucose, lactose, maltose, and sucrose (the table sugar mentioned above). These sugars are found naturally in fruits, vegetables, and dairy products and in such foods as honey, molasses, and maple syrup. Sugars also are extracted from their sources to produce ingredients such as table sugar. This can include sugars from corn such as corn syrup or high fructose corn syrup as well as the sources for table sugar such as sugar beets or sugar cane. Many sugars are used to sweeten or preserve other food products. The human body cannot tell the difference between sugars that come from foods naturally or those that are added to foods. Once eaten all are broken down by the body to produce energy and metabolic building blocks. Most commonly used sugars (table sugar, honey, HFCS) contain glucose, which is the only fuel used by the brain and the primary fuel used by working muscles.

Fact 2 Dental Cavities are Caused by Bacteria—Not Sugars
Sugars and cooked starches (e.g., bread, pasta, crackers, and chips) are fermentable carbohydrates that contribute to the risk for dental cavities. In the absence of proper oral hygiene, bacteria present on the teeth can break down sugars and cooked starches to produce acid and without proper dental hygiene can eventually lead to dental cavities. The degree of risk from a carbohydrate-rich food is related to several factors such as how often the foods are consumed and the amount of time these foods remain on the teeth. However, risk can be decreased through several practices, the most important being proper oral hygiene and the use of fluoridated toothpaste and fluoridated water. Also important in reducing the risk of cavities is eating a balanced diet in line with current dietary guidelines.

Fact 3 Sugars Do Not Cause Obesity, Diabetes and Other Serious Diseases
Sugars have a long history of safe use in foods. In addition, many health aspects of sugars have been periodically examined by independent scientists. The totality of the data does not single out sugars as a dietary risk factor for chronic diseases, such as diabetes, heart disease and obesity. Since 1997, no fewer than five leading scientific and health organizations including the Food and Agriculture Organization, World Health Organization, the Institute of Medicine, and the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics have all concluded that dietary sugars are not associated with causing illness or chronic diseases, including obesity

Fact 4 Sugars Do Not Cause Hyperactivity Although the medical and scientific communities long ago concluded that sugars are not responsible for hyperactivity in children, many parents and teachers still believe that sugar affects children’s behavior. When studies are done where the observers do not know which children were given sugar and which were not (double blind studies) no differences in “hyperactivity” are found. The Institute of Medicine reviewed more than 23 studies conducted over a 12-year period and concluded that sugar intake does not affect hyperactivity in children. Although it is true that a poor diet—one low in nutrients and energy— can lead to poor test performance, it is not true that restricting any single food or any single food ingredient will improve behavior. In fact, some studies have shown the opposite to be true: across all age groups, consuming small amounts of sugar has been shown to boost performance on tests of mental abilities and staying on task.

Fact 5 Sugar Is Not “Addictive”
We are genetically inclined to like sweet foods and for good reasons, mother’s milk is sweet; sweet tasting foods such as berries are safe and nutritious foods while bitter substances often are poisonous; and glucose,which tastes sweet, is the only fuel that the brain can use.Without a “taste” forsweets, our ancestors would not have survived. Today, even though most people can easily find the food sources they need forsurvival,we still are genetically inclined to like and enjoy sweet foods.This does not, however, mean that these foods are “addictive”. Drugs of abuse are addictive in a way that individuals crave the substance and abuse it without control due to induced physiological changes in the brain. Food sustains life while these drugs do no not.

Fact 6 Eliminating Sugars From Your Diet Is Not Necessary in Order to Lose Weight
As sugars are ingredients in favorite foods it may be natural to suspect that they have a role in contributing to over-consumption and increased body weight. The truth is that many epidemiologic studies (studies that look at what large groups of people are eating and their health status) have shown that high sucrose (sugar) diets are not linked to higher body weight or higher body mass index (BMI). In fact, high sugar intakes are often linked to lower BMI. Several studies have found that as the percent of sugar in the diet increases, body weight and BMI decrease. In its 2002 report on dietary carbohydrates and sugars, the Institute of Medicine noted that for both children and adults, higher intakes of sugars tend to be associated with lower BMI or obesity. Studies also have examined whether diets high in sugars make losing weight more difficult. When compared to a weight-loss diet high in complex carbohydrates, a weight-loss diet high in sugars resulted in similar weight loss amounts with no effect on dieters’ moods, concentration, or hunger levels. In addition, both weight loss groups experienced similar improvements in their blood pressure levels and plasma lipid levels. What matters for weight management is total caloric intake balanced with physical activity, not one specific food or type of food.

Fact 7 Moderate Amounts of Sugars Are Part of a Healthful Diet and Fit Into the Dietary Guidelines for Americans
For more than 20 years, the Dietary Guidelines for Americans have provided the basis for healthful eating advice for Americans two years of age and older. Every five years, a committee of acknowledged nutrition scientists and experts reviews the current scientific data on nutrition and health. Following their review, they develop a set of healthful eating guidelines, some of which have changed over the years and some of which have remained remarkably similar to past advice. In general, the 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans emphasize the importance of consuming a diet high in nutrients yet modest in calories, a concept known as nutrient density. Although sugars themselves are not sources of vitamins or minerals, they can increase the enjoyment of foods like dairy products, such as yogurts or milk, or whole grains such as cereals, which are significant sources of nutrients.

Fact 8 Glycemic Index Ratings Are Not Practical for Most People to Use
The glycemic index (GI) was developed in the early 1980’s as way of classifying foods with carbohydrates. It is a measure of the rise in blood glucose after eating an individual food containing a specific amount of carbohydrate when compared to consuming the same amount of glucose or white bread. For more than 20 years, studies have been conducted to assess whether the GI is a helpful tool for planning diets for weight loss, diabetes prevention or the management of blood glucose for people with diabetes. The usefulness of the GI remains controversial globally. In the US, professional groups such as the American Diabetes Association, the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, and the 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans have not recommended the use of the GI as a diet planning tool for people with diabetes, the general population or people trying to lose weight. In fact, even those who support the use of the GI as a useful tool say that foods should not be judged by their GI alone. Other factors such as nutrient density and fat content need to be considered.

Fact 9 People With Diabetes Can Include Some Foods With Sugars as Part of Their Total Diet
Diabetes is a metabolic disorder that occurs when the body cannot regulate blood glucose levels properly. In diabetes, either the pancreas does not make enough insulin (type 1 diabetes) or the body cannot respond normally to the insulin that is made (type 2 diabetes). The causes of diabetes are complex, although both genetics and environmental factors seem to play a role. Obesity and lack of exercise are important in susceptibility to type 2 diabetes. Interestingly, sugars are not “off limits” for people with diabetes. Current American Diabetes Association nutritional recommendations do not provide specific guidelines for intake of sugars, noting that sugars and other carbohydrates can be substituted for one another on a calorie-for-calorie basis. The American Diabetes Association also recommends limits on dietary fat and dietary saturated fat for people with diabetes. Maintaining a healthy weight also is important in managing diabetes.

Fact 10 High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) Does Not Cause Obesity
Although rising obesity levels have paralleled the increased use of HFCS in foods and beverages, this is merely an association and does not show cause. There has now been considerable research showing that HFCS does not lead to obesity any more than calories from other sources. The American Medical Association states that “HFCS is unlikely to be more harmful to health than other caloric sweeteners.” HFCS has a similar composition to table sugar (sucrose) consisting of both glucose and fructose, and the same number of calories (4 per gram) as table sugar, glucose and fructose. The primary difference between HFCS and sucrose is the way the individual molecules of glucose and fructose are connected: in sucrose, the glucose and fructose are “bound” together. In HFCS, glucose and fructose are not bound but are “free” sugars. But, when table sugar is digested it quickly turns into free sugars as well. HFCS and sucrose are similarly metabolized by the body. Studies examining the effects of HFCS on satiety and appetite have shown no differences between sucrose and HFCS. HFCS-containing beverages also have been compared to other drinks with the same calories (e.g., milk) and are found to have similar effects on appetite and food intake. Over the past 30 years, the average number of calories eaten by adults has increased steadily. According to USDA data, people are consuming more of all types of foods, including caloric sweeteners, in their diets. Sweet beverage consumption, a significant source of HFCS, has increased along with other foods, but it is the total increase in the consumption of all foods that have resulted in increased calorie levels. At the same time, other lifestyle factors also have changed over the past 30 years. More people consume foods away from home than in the home. For many people the amount of time each day spent being physically active has decreased while the amount of time spent watching television or other screens has increased. All these factors add up and show up on the scales. The increase in obesity is a result of the difficulty in maintaining energy balance (calories in versus calories out) to achieve and stay at a desirable weight.

The Bottom Line
Sugars can be part of a healthful diet when they are consumed in moderation and within daily calorie needs. For those who are trying to manage their weight, keeping an eye on calories is essential—and that includes calories from dietary fats, protein, and carbohydrates,such as starchy foods and sugars. Very physically active people burn more calories through exercise,so they can add more calories to their diet in any form they choose—from dairy products, meats, vegetables, fruits, and yes, an occasional sweet treat. Your mother was right; enjoy all things in moderation—including sugars.

Source: www.foodinsight.com

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Relaxation Jars

RELAXATION JARS

This is a great coping skills used for distractions or to calm your anxiety down. Yes, this idea is all over the internet  … but I’ve fallen in love with them and just had to share them on my very own post.
tips on how to make and use a relaxation glitter jar
They are super simple to make.  All you need is:
  • a container (I used pint-sized Mason jars, but you can use a empty soft drink container, plastic jar …  pretty much anything that is clear and has a lid)
  • warm water
  • Glitter Glue (1.8 fl oz)
  • a hot glue gun (to seal the lid if you wish to avoid spills)
I created mine by filling the Mason jar halfway with the warm water, emptying the glitter glue into the jar, (using more warm water to rinse and empty the remaining glitter glue out of the container  … adding the water and shaking vigorously), adding more warm water if needed to fill the jar to the top, and then putting on the lid.
"ingredients" for a relaxation jar
I found I needed to shake the mixture very well for awhile and also let it sit for a bit so that the glue would dissolve and fully mix with the water.  (however, even when it is fully mixed the glitter will settle awhile after it is shaken.)  As it would make sense … the greater the proportion of glitter glue to water the more dense the water becomes and the glitter “hangs” in suspension for longer.  Experimenting with different amounts can give you a variety of effects.
glitter jar FAIL
I also discovered that NOT ALL GLITTER GLUE works for this project … a couple of kinds that I had (they tended to have larger glitter) would NOT dissolve in the water (like the above clumpy pink glitter!).  The Glitter Glue that I found works best is the Createlogy Brand sold at Michael’s.
tips on how to make and use relaxation jars
These beautiful, easy to make jars are absolutely wonderful for staring at a relaxing … just losing yourself in the swirling glitter for a few moments helps to center oneself.  They’ve been used as “Glitter Jars“, “Calm Down Glitter Jars“, “Calming Glitter Jars“, “Calming Glitter Bottle“,  “Mind Jar and awesome gift card free printable” (that has a great explanation of how you can use them), and “Time-out Jar“.  Whatever they are called … or however they are made (there’s a few variations) they are truly wonderful for helping kids settle down and relax.  The idea is that by the time the glitter settles at the bottom the viewer would be calmer.


Creating these at home, school, or in therapy with a child would be a perfect, simple hands-on activity that they could take home as a great tool to help center them.  Whether they tend to be anxious or hyperactive … Heck, anyone could use this tool to help chill out during the day!

My Thoughts On Eating Disorders



My Thoughts On Eating Disorders
Eating Disorders in today's society is a "real" and sometimes lethal problem and we need to fix it NOW. Not tomorrow or even next week but NOW. Sitting around wondering what to deal will not help those struggling and suffering...be proactive about this

Why does it take a celebrity's death to realize there's a "real" problem and we need to fix it NOW, Don't just sit there wondering what to do. Often those who suffer from Eating Disorders are the ones that are people pleasers, top of the class, not wanting to upset anyone,very sensitive personalities and shy. They are the ones capable of hiding the pain and putting on a "fake smile" in order not to cause others to worry and are very capable of hiding that there is a "real"problem by wearing baggy clothes to hide dramatic weight loss. Those that have suffered for quite sometime before anyone was aware of the problem are far more sick than anyone or even they realize. Symptoms may include not being able to make clear decisions on their own behalf, obsessiveness with numbers, hiding any weight loss... Often there are co-existing conditions associated with Eating Disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bipolar, PTSD and Trauma, Domestic Violence, Self-Harm, Addictions, Stress and even Borderline Personality Disorder just to name a few. Eating Disorder Awareness and Prevention has been an issue for years and is very misunderstood and complex. I have personally known families who have been ripped apart due to some type of Eating Disorder. In the past year alone, I have lost 4 incredible people that I really cared about through acts of An Eating Disorder and it wasn't their fault. Over the years I have lost as many as 10 wonderful people and it always leaves you with the question of "why" or "what could I have done differently". The truth is there are no answers to this problem. Through research we do know there are certain genetic factors that raise the risk for developing an eating disorder. If you have a family member who has an Eating Disorder it raises the risk of developing an Eating Disorder. There is often times a genetic preposition to the development of this fatal illness. There are also other factors that include environment that you grew up in, personality traits, trauma and abuse, dysfunctional family and sometimes the cause is unknown. As Cynthia Bulick who is the Medical Director at UNC For Eating Disorders says, "Genes load the gun and environment pulls the trigger" What we need society and our nation to understand is that this isn't their fault, not their friends, or even families fault. It feels like a tornado which is quite scary and your life is literally being ripped apart right in front of you. It's an illness that needs more research and clinical trials. The stigma keeps individuals asking for help because they feel so much "shame" from the problems they have. No one should ever have to feel this way. An individual doesn't ask to have depression or other similar illnesses. So, again this illness has opened the public's eyes on how real and fatal this is.  This is a Mental Health crisis we are in and cutting back will create an increase number of hospitalizations and fatalities.

Eating Disorders have the highest mortality rate of any other psychiatric illness. Losing a person you care about should never have to happen to anyone.  We need more understanding, more educating, and more advocacy.  We need people who "truly" get it.  Eating Disorders are "real" illnesses. It isn't about food, your weight, or even wanting to look like someone else.  They DO NOT discriminate and not one of us is invincible to the illness.  It doesn't matter if you are struggling or in recovery it can and will take your life if you allow it to.  Eating Disorders take many lives every year and it doesn't matter if you are a man, woman, your economic status, race, lifestyle, shape, size, or even age.  Whether it be Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating, Compulsive Exercise, or Otherwise Specified Feeding Eating Disorder (OSFED) they are ALL very deadly.  We do not choose to have an eating disorder, but rather it chooses us.  We must look underneath and find the real problem rather than using very unhealthy coping mechanisms. Take a look at your feelings, thoughts, mindset that you have embedded inside your brain from such a very young age. Eating Disorders are about insecurity, self-hatred, feelings of worthlessness and anger so strong you are unable to cope. They are about having a super sensitive personality that would do anything to avoid hurting or even allowing another ED victim suffer. The negative thoughts that tell you "you aren't good enough." You ARE good enough no matter what the eating disorder is telling you. Secrets are what keeps us sick and you are only as sick as your secrets. Please get the help you need before it takes your life too.
I advocate for Eating Disorder Awareness and Prevention.  Do your part by doing a walk, a NEDA WALK,  set up a page to raise money and others can donate as well, spread awareness, March in Washington on Lobby Day.  We can't just sit here and do nothing!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Avoiding Eating Disorder Relapse




Avoiding Eating Disorder Relapse
For recovering eating disorder sufferers, it can take years before one is able to live a happy and healthy life without occasionally slipping into old ways of thinking. These moments are inevitable, but they don’t necessarily mean that a relapse is unavoidable. The key is to recognize when warning signs arise and to take preventive measures. And if you haven’t yet sought professional eating disorder treatment, you might want to consider doing so before you revert to old habits.
Signs an Eating Disorder Relapse Is Imminent
If you’re worried about relapsing, here are some hints that may help you get the care you need during this challenging time in your path of recovery. It means that it’s weighing heavily on your mind, and you may find that this worry is closely associated with the thoughts and feelings you used to have when you were in the throes of your eating disorder. If your worry combines with any of the following factors, talk to an eating disorder treatment professional as soon as possible:
  • Your thoughts keep turning to food, dieting and weight.
  • You have been dishonest with your eating disorder treatment professionals or if you feel compelled to hide information or behaviors.
  • You worry that you are losing control and may overcompensate with perfectionism.
  • You feel as if you have no outlet for your stress.
  • You feel hopeless and wonder what you’re going to do with your life.
  • With diet and exercise, your primary goal is to look good rather than to be healthy.
  • You believe that you’ll never be happy unless you’re thin.
  • You see yourself as overweight or obese.
  • Friends or family indicate to you that your self-image is inaccurate.
  • You look in the mirror frequently and weigh yourself often.
  • You skip meals or find ways to purify yourself after eating.
  • You get irritable around the issue of food.
  • You feel an overwhelming sense of guilt or shame after eating.
  • You avoid events that involve food.
  • You isolate yourself or engage in increasingly secretive behaviors.
  • You hold contempt for people who are overweight or don’t eat well according to your standards.
Beyond these signs, you have to trust your feelings. You know what it’s like to be inside the mind of an eating disorder sufferer, so you may be able evaluate your condition. Try to be honest with yourself and get help right away, and you can avoid eating disorder relapse.
Focus on Health, not Looks
There are many factors that contribute to eating disorders, but one of the most of the most common is low self-esteem, which often leads to compensatory behaviors. People with eating disorders, especially anorexia and bulimia, become obsessed with staying skinny or reaching a target weight, and all of their diet and exercise activities are in service of this purpose.
In the throes of an eating disorder, it can be easy to forget that food is not a vice. Because of all the complicated feelings of guilt surrounding eating, eating disorder sufferers lose sight of the fact that having a healthy diet is essential to living a full and productive life.
Although it may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, now is the time to make changes to the way you think about food. Think of eating not as a vice but as a way to give much-needed energy and nutrients to your body and mind. Think of dieting as out of the question. Healthy eating is much more important and is actually the key to maintaining and keeping a healthy weight.
Tips for Avoiding Relapse
If simply focusing on health is not enough, then you might want to keep these tips in mind.


  • Don’t recover on your own. If you haven’t already, seek eating disorder treatment and find a support group where you can share your thoughts and feelings with others who understand what you’re going through. Also, be open with close friends and family members about your illness.
  • Have a regular eating schedule. During this rough time, what you need is consistency and balance in your diet. Get into the habit of eating three normal-sized, nutritious meals per day.
  • Keep in close contact with your support system. Avoid people who encourage your eating disorder, and stay in close contact with anyone who wants to see you healthy and happy.
  • Maintain your weight without binging or purging. Work with your doctor to determine a healthy weight for you, and arrange your life so that you can maintain this weight without having to resort to eating disorder behaviors.
  • Exercise at a healthy level. Part of finding a balanced way of life is learning how to exercise without it being merely a weight-loss compensatory measure. Enjoy your exercise, and avoid thinking of it as having a transactional relationship with what you eat. Remember that everyone needs exercise in order to be healthy, and think of your activities as beneficial for your all-around health.
  • Know your triggers. Think about what used to set off your eating disorder behaviors, and do whatever you can to avoid those things. Understand that you’ll probably encounter your triggers sooner or later and have a plan of action for dealing with them.
  • Don’t obsess. When you find yourself obsessing over food or weight, do something else to get your mind off of it.
  • Keep a journal. Keep a journal that enables you to sort through your thoughts and feelings.
  • Help others. Try to find ways to get involved in helping others with eating disorders. This may mean participating in a support group, blogging about your struggles or getting involved with an eating disorder recovery group in your area.

Friday, January 9, 2015

How To Deal With Triggers

                                    

How To Deal With Triggers
Not all triggers can be gotten over and even if a trigger can be gotten over, doesn’t particularly mean it should. It is entirely up to the survivor to choose which triggers to try and get over, and whether or not they want to get over them at all. Sometimes when people get over a trigger- they will still be sensitive to it in the case of relapse or more stress. 

First Step: Identifying Triggers
Triggers kind of fall in two areas. We have our super general triggers that can often be identified by a quick HALTcheck. (The halt system suggests that when stressed we ask ourselves ‘Am I a. Hungry b. Angry c. Lonely or d. Tired?’ ) These are things that aren’t necessarily ‘PTSD’ triggers- so much as they lower our threshold in general. You want to still be aware of these for that very reason. 
Then we have our more specific PTSD/trauma triggers. It can be a feeling. For instance- survivors of childhood trauma often struggle with anything that makes them feel small. It can be a visual thing. Whether it be something your attacker wore, something that you watched a lot during your trauma period, people that look kind of like the assailant. It can be an auditory thing. A sound, a name. It can be a smell. Smells are actually extremely strong triggers usually.It can be a touch. Triggers are things that cause an uptick in symptoms. Whether they cause panic attacks, flashbacks, or a return to behaviors such as self harm or disordered eating.

Step Two: Learning how to Self-Soothe/Ground
Self Soothing/Grounding behaviors are a dime a dozen, it’s all a matter of finding a good handful that work for you.It’s extremely important that you find a system that works for you before trying to handle a trigger. There isn’t enough room on a post to go over every possible self-soothing/grounding behavior but I’m going to list some. Do some exploration on your own to find something that works or you.

1. Get an ‘oh shit’ box, or a grounding bag, or whatever you want to call it. A place where you physically keep  things that help you. Kind notes from friends. A color book. Play Dough. You’ll want things that cover all the sensory experiences.
2. Proper breathing exercises. These don’t work for everyone- but they do have a higher success rate when done correctly. 
3. Cold oranges. Oranges kept in the fridge and then peeled help a lot of people ‘come down’ from triggered states. It’s a sensory thing- both touch and focus and smell.
4. Keeping a grounding object. Whether it be a spinner ring, a necklace, a rock you keep in your pocket. Something you touch often and use as a ‘I am here and this is now’
5. Essential oils can really help.
6. Journaling or Art.
7. Going back to a safe place. Whether this be a physical place or a ‘place’ in your mind.
8. Counting down from 100 by 7’s. Or other things like that require you to focus.
9. Having a playlist specifically for these times. I find that having them set from sort of… high energy.angry. music to slowly going down to more calm helps me personally.
10. Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
But really, self soothing/grounding things… there are hundreds upon hundreds of options.  It’s just a matter of looking around and finding what works for you. You’ll want to find multiple. These are not cure alls by themselves- they are skills to layer upon one another.

Step Three: Define Your Triggers
In step one- you identified your triggers, now I want you to better define them. 
For instance- if touch sets you off- is it all touch? or is touch to a certain area of your body? or by
people you don’t know? or when you don’ t have forewarning This will help you understand where to start.

Step Four: Create an Action Plan and act on it.
Now you’re going to use all the information from steps three and two, as well as figuring out what skills and people you have in your life that would be willing to help. Know what coping skills/self soothing/grounding things you will turn to. Figure out how you’re going to start. Start small. For instance- if you have a touch trigger then you might want to start by making sure you’re as completely relaxed and in as safe an environment as possible- and then having someone you trust touch you. Remind yourself that you are safe, that you know who is doing it, and that you’re going to be okay. Once again- start out small. Only do it for a few minutes at first- if that.If a place is triggering, having a friend come with you and working yourself up to staying longer times. Knowing that this time? You can leave as soon as you need to. You are in control. Notice how you feel- notice the racing heart or the nausea or whatever it is- don’t shame yourself for feeling this way. Just know that it won’t be forever. You’re going to want to make new associations as well. In over simplified terms- a trigger is basically when we see/feel/hear/whatever A and the synaptic connection immediately jumps to the trauma. What you want to do is make new synaptic connections so that it is no longer the first place you unconsciously jump to- and strengthen them regularly. You’re going to want to slowly work yourself up to handling more and more. It is a slow process, and it often involves a lot of agitation. Don’t push yourself too hard too fast. It’s better to spend awhile working on five minutes at a time until five minutes doesn’t bother you- than to jump in and push yourself into a relapse.

Step Five: Self Care and Processing.
Make sure that you self-soothe before and after you do things and to spend time processing what happened and how it makes you feel. When you start to tackle triggers things will usually come up. It will probably help to keep a journal regarding this process. Talk about how it makes you feel, whether physically or emotionally. Talk about what seems to work and what seems to not. You may notice patterns this way too. 

Don’t beat yourself up for not doing perfectly or still getting upset. Instead celebrate the successes and that you are now in control. You can end the trigger sensation when you want to. You can self soothe now. You have the power.

There will a guide regarding ways to handle names specifically sometime in the future. 

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries



SIGNS OF UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES


  • Telling All
  • Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting
  • Being overwhelmed by a person-preoccupied
  • Going against personal values and rights to please others
  • Not noticing when someone else displays unhealthy boundaries
  • Letting others direct your life
  • Letting others define you
  • Believing others can anticipate your needs
  • Expecting others to fill your needs automatically
  • Falling apart so someone will take care of you
  • Being a "rock" in order to take care of someone else
  • Letting others describe your reality
  • Accepting food and gifts that you don't want
  • Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting
  • Hugging a person without asking
  • Acting out on first impulse
Opinions and Feelings are frequently a personal triumph over good thinking.  You define reality by what you know, what you believe, and what you do about it.


Monday, January 5, 2015

How To Create A Useful Mindful Journal

One of the concerns about meditating that my clients often have is the fear that if they quiet down, a great idea will come to them and they’ll have no way of capturing it before it leaves their consciousness. I suggest you create and work with a mindfulness journal, a blank book that you can use to record your sensations, observations, thoughts, feelings, emotions, images, creative ideas, and messages of wisdom from your mind and body as you become mindful of them. When you write, be mindful of simply noting what you’ve experienced and why you might have experienced it.
Here are Some Tips on How to Work with a Mindfulness Journal

• Schedule your time to write when you sit quietly in a peaceful, restful place, perhaps in a room surrounded by books and pictures that inspire you. You may also want to sit on a meditation chair or cushion with peaceful music playing, wrap yourself in a meditation shawl or blanket, and light a candle or incense.


• Categorize what your mind churns up. Our minds create a mix of emotions, thoughts, and sensations, all of which influence each other. The thought, “My boss is so insensitive; I can’t believe he was so abrupt with me today,” might not surface in your mind until you sit and begin meditating, and might appear not as a fully formed thought but as a         


• Don’t give too much weight to such a revelation as you can reinforce that reality. You reinforce your habitual thinking and feeling patterns when you subscribe to a narrative of suffering such as, “I can’t help being the way I am. My defensiveness goes way back to my childhood.” I call this the “big story.” It has the potential to shut you off from the art of creative transformation.


• Once you’ve identified the big story, categorize it as “old stuff” and set it aside whenever it comes up. The major healing work most people need to do is to transform and move beyond their “big story” whether it deals with their parents, lack of abundance, insecurities or fears. There’s no benefit in retelling it to yourself over and over again.


• It’s also important to let go of the “new stuff”: each “small story,” or rationalization for why your present life is the way it is. The small stories are worth examining to discover what lessons they hold, but if you hang on to them, repeating them to yourself, they become “old stuff” and part of the big story as well.


As long as you remain in these stories, you create suffering for yourself. To change your life, you have to see the story for what it is: a way of framing events that doesn’t contribute to your happiness and holds you back from positive change. Holding on to your story, big or small, giving it life in retelling and embellishing it endlessly, will cause you pain. The point isn’t whether or not you’re justified in telling that particular story, or its veracity, but whether you’re suffering because of it. This takes practice but the more you meditate the more it will feel as if you’re simply sorting the laundry as you observe what your mind generates.headache or an overall sense of vulnerability and defensiveness.



• In meditation, it’s important not to go wherever those sensations ad feelings take you but to simply sit with them, allowing them to reveal themselves. Afterward, as you write in your journal about your experience, work with a therapist, or ponder where that feeling or sensation came from, you might discover that it has deeper roots.


• Recognizing that your experience bears a powerful emotional resemblance to a past experience can be a helpful and freeing insight, but in the end, the story of its origin is just a story that can distract you from healing. If you come to realize that your defensiveness around your gruff boss reminds you of the way you reacted to your highly critical father, the value in that insight is acknowledging how deeply your mind has been programmed to respond to criticism or abruptness with fear and defensiveness. It’s easier to be patient with yourself when you recognize that your mind has actually created an elaborate neural network to support this reaction, because clearly, it will take time, patience, and repetition to change that instantaneous response.





Source www.selfgrowth.com